I was working out yesterday at the park locally. This park is perfect because it has a half mile obstacle course so I can cross train a little bit. I was feeling a little weak physically as well as spiritually probably due to some concerns about when we are going to get a permanent home (biblically speaking a larger tent!). To compound the issue it was my day to do some pull ups, my weakest area in regards to my training. So I felt a little bit lethargic and somewhat bummed out, therefore I wasn’t terribly motivated and for some reason my pre workout was not getting me some get up and go that day. All of this led me to feel weak and a little discouraged.
I then had a thought about how maybe it was ok to feel weak. I immediately responded with a hardy “no it’s not ok” (not out loud this was internal I’m not crazy!) I then proceeded to try to get two more reps then my goal that I had made just a few minutes earlier. So I guess that was all the motivation I needed because I did exceed my goals for the day, praise the Lord! Anyway I went through the first two cycles of my back workout (the pull ups). Before continuing on with the third and final circuit I remembered that two nights before I was not feeling weak and unmotivated but rather strong and highly motivated. Frankly I was pumping myself up a little too much! I was feeling a little frustrated and telling the Lord how I have been obeying Him for some time and I was getting anxious for some movement on His part. I could have used a little help from the book of Phillipians that night but for a little while I wasn’t thinking in that direction at all! It was ok that I spoke about my frustrations candidly with my Lord, after all He is a big savior, but I took it too far and was throwing a fit inside of my head and I was getting all screwed up in my mind. I moved right past normal anger at sin, which can be managed to getting ticked off that I was not getting some comfort. Like I said I was throwing a bit of a tantrum in my thoughts! I took a walk to cool down and I was simultaneously thinking of how “strong” the Lord has made me, which was true when I stay in Him. However, I was just getting more ticked off. Then I remembered why the Lord has me train and work out to begin with. This was not given to me just to be physically strong and show some evidence of change in my life, both true, but there was one more reason. It was meant to be a tool to cope with my wicked flesh and this sinful world in a healthy manner and I was not utilizing it properly. So I started jogging and sparring as I ran and asking the Lord to forgive me for my sinful thoughts. After about 15 minutes I had worked it out and although I wanted to do more it was time to get some rest so I went inside and rested peacefully praise God!
Back to yesterday! Before I began that final circuit I thought about both scenarios and how both are unhealthy. I think we have been told enough that getting into a rage even in your head is not biblical. The book of James tells us to be “slow to anger…” or put another way allow the Lord to remind you of who He is and handle your anger. Thinking that you are weak and inferior is dangerous too. After all if I wouldn’t have done these pull ups because I was too discouraged I wouldn’t have been able to write this. I also would not have been able to get out from under my discouragement and get those extra reps to eradicate that weak feeling. So after the workout I felt strong and content. I felt the same way after my late night jogging and sparring sessions a couple of nights before.
So as it turns out my little workouts and shadow boxing has been a successful tool to calm me down and build me up. I also thought that maybe the end of both workouts could be an example of biblical humility. Meaning once you learn to use the tools the Lord gives you to keep from getting too high on yourself in pride or too low on discouragement you can stay where you need to be. It’s funny that both of these scenarios describe forgetting attributes of who God is and that’s when you get out of whack. My anger was that I forgot about the cross paying for my sin. My discouragement was that I forgot about the empty tomb which guarantees my victory. When you remember the truth and use the tools you are given you can sit in peaceful, Godly, humble living.
You are not made to stay weak and not made to glory in yourself you’re meant to “seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God..” Man it’s hard to stay where you need to be but praise the Lord we have an advocate in Christ Jesus!
