Tuesday, January 4, 2011
35 and I am a Grumpy Old Man
The above phrase is what I said to my wife today. She responded by saying that I have always been that way! (Wow and I thought this would be some sort of revelation to her, I guess not!) This subject was spurred on as I applied for a job online and I was getting frustrated, as usual, so my wife came in to help me through. It’s not so much that I cannot figure out how to do things online it’s that I just hate it! As a matter of fact my wife set up the blog. All I do is write! I realize that we still don’t have a flat screen TV, I have never downloaded a song or ringtone, I called my wife’s MP3 player “the music playing thing” yesterday, in general I pretty much dislike technology or at least I thought I did. Then I was reminded of a little article I wrote about 3 months ago and it illuminated what was really going on. It’s not so much that I hate technology, because technology after all is allowing me to write to anyone who wants to listen. I’m just “grumpy” because I think that the technology that is supposed to bring us together is actually creating more distance when it comes to things that really matter. You should know that I am going to tie this to the Bible in some way, so here we go! As Jesus was giving up his spirit on the cross for the sins of the world the scripture says that the veil in the temple had torn down the middle displaying the Holy of Holies in the Jewish temple for all to see. (Mathew 27:50-51) That miraculous event was to symbolize and show vividly what Christ had just done. Jesus Christ is now our High Priest and we can now access God directly through Him anytime and anywhere. All of this is very similar to our modern technology, but do we use this freedom to know more about the Lord or is it a distraction and on some levels a hindrance. My point is that the more comfortable and accessible things seem to be whether it be access to Christ or access to people via cell phones, the more it seems we have distance when it comes to meaningful intercourse. When the Lord gives us the desires of our sinful hearts it seems we turn away from him. This technology is not therefore sinful, but it illuminates our sinful condition. It seems like the only times in human history when people cry out to the Lord is when everything is difficult not easy or convenient. With that being the backdrop I hope you enjoy my musings and you are going to find out a little about me personally as well, thank you and God bless!
Reflections on Disconnections
Seeing the country is something a lot of people wish they could do. I was blessed to have the opportunity to see a lot of the United States. Going to the Grand Canyon in Flagstaff Arizona, living in Southern California and spending time at the Pacific Ocean, seeing a lot of professional sporting events across the country, and even meeting all of the Detroit Pistons as a young boy. Surprisingly, I have only vague memories of a lot of what would seem to be memorable moments. One in particular that stands out was what should have been one of the most memorable moments of my young life. On January 1, 1987 my father managed to get tickets to the 1987 Rose Bowl between Michigan and Arizona State. I was and still am (despite being a North Carolina State University alumni) a huge Michigan football fan. Being able to be in California and just see the Rose Bowl stadium in Pasadena, California is something a lot of Midwestern Big Ten fans would have loved to experience. I was privileged enough to attend the actual Rose Bowl game. Unfortunately, Michigan lost to Arizona State that day, (not uncommon for Michigan at Rose Bowl appearances during this time). I would love to tell you about some of the smells, people I met, and bring up old photographs. Maybe even bore you to death with a photo gallery of this and all other sites and sounds of the United States, but I have none of these things. I couldn’t even tell you the score of that game or speak about a person I met in any of my travels.
At this point in my life I could not remember any details at all, to be honest. The same goes for the trip to the Florida Keys, my first time in the ocean, and motorcycle rides through Florida and Texas respectively. I could go on and on with seemingly memorable and adventurous tales that span the gap between age 12 to age 30. I could fill these pages with facts about places I have been, but what I missed out on is what was important in each and every experience.
One of my favorite movies was the movie “Good Will Hunting” The movie starred Robin Williams who played a therapist from South Boston who was supposed to get through to a South Boston kid played by Matt Damon who was brilliant, but yet very fearful and troubled due to past sin played out in his life. Coupled with experiencing tragedy, that a young boy should not have had to see, young Will was cocky on the outside and dying on the inside. In one particular scene Robin Williams was telling him about love and how he met his wife, because he chose to stay and try to talk to who would later become his wife rather than go to game six of the Red Sox Cardinals series. (I think I would have went to the game!) He went on to explain how he never regretted missing that World Series game, and how he didn’t regret staying in the hospital day after day as his wife was dying of cancer. Countless examples were given by Robin Williams of how well he and his wife knew each other. He even included all the imperfections that each had, exclaiming to young Will that those things were not “imperfections but rather the good stuff.” Young Will had no such experiences in life. He could only quote some Shakespeare or relate a story that he read in a book or poetic sonnet, but he knew nothing of love. Will never had dare to love anyone more then himself. Robin Williams talked about a series of experiences and each time he would tell young Will that he probably had a smart answer from a book he read or story he heard, but he was never a part of any of it. Will never invested his life in others and he had missed the opportunity to experience life.
I was just like Will in the movie, I was full of stories, smart answers and funny jokes, but none of it was real. I should have countless memories of people I met and sounds and smells that I cannot forget, but I don’t. It was as if I was a computer regurgitating facts to prove that I had a memory of something I saw or places I went. I was existing and surviving, but by no means alive in any real way. Only those that are alive can smell, taste, and share these things we go through in life with others. I spent the first 30 years of my life merely existing, surviving and wondering why there was so much pain. I was self sufficient, self reliant, and in short just selfish. These things are attributes and even celebrated in our upside down world, but they are contrary to the work of the Lord and block Him from providing life and life abundantly.
All of this has gone through my mind repeatedly. Today, for reason I do not know I am somehow acutely aware of my own shortcomings. I was also evaluating the technologically connected world that we live in. I thought that as some level the two could be related. In the palm of my hand I have the ability to connect with almost every member of the world. I can even write a letter to the President of the United States right now on my telephone. (Although this phone can’t make him read it!) So why are people living so disconnected to the family members that live in their own home. We are emailing and texting everyone all over the world but will not cross the street to talk to our neighbor. We talk on the phone with friends about family problems but will not knock on our own children’s door and practice what we preach. Maybe I am not the only person suffering from surviving over living. It seems as if the side effect of technology is a lack of attachment. I have seen two people in a car or walking down the street together and talking on the phone with someone else as if the person they are with is not there. It happened today; as a matter of fact: the visual pictures of people that I observed today provided the material for these thoughts.
The ability to travel and see different types of people in my own life did not lead to greater connection with others. The opportunities that I have been afforded by my circumstances and through the advances technologically brought me around more people. However that did not automatically mean that real communication occurred with those people. Much like the ability to communicate twenty four seven with anyone does not necessarily mean that you will. Maybe my circumstances are unique in my life or maybe others have some of the same problems I do. I am not here to rail against the horrors of our modern society. I am just taking this opportunity to share some of my experiences and the observance of others. It could not hurt to stop and ponder these things from time to time, don’t you think? Our modern society gives us the ability to cross the country in a matter of hours and experience many great sights and sounds. Sadly it seems all we gather from this are pictures taken on our phone and a few post cards. Why do we miss out on all of the different people we can meet along the way? Maybe there are others like me that were too consumed with there own life. It could however be that the convenience has kept us from experiencing life. I have been guilty of both. How about you?
At this point in my life I could not remember any details at all, to be honest. The same goes for the trip to the Florida Keys, my first time in the ocean, and motorcycle rides through Florida and Texas respectively. I could go on and on with seemingly memorable and adventurous tales that span the gap between age 12 to age 30. I could fill these pages with facts about places I have been, but what I missed out on is what was important in each and every experience.
One of my favorite movies was the movie “Good Will Hunting” The movie starred Robin Williams who played a therapist from South Boston who was supposed to get through to a South Boston kid played by Matt Damon who was brilliant, but yet very fearful and troubled due to past sin played out in his life. Coupled with experiencing tragedy, that a young boy should not have had to see, young Will was cocky on the outside and dying on the inside. In one particular scene Robin Williams was telling him about love and how he met his wife, because he chose to stay and try to talk to who would later become his wife rather than go to game six of the Red Sox Cardinals series. (I think I would have went to the game!) He went on to explain how he never regretted missing that World Series game, and how he didn’t regret staying in the hospital day after day as his wife was dying of cancer. Countless examples were given by Robin Williams of how well he and his wife knew each other. He even included all the imperfections that each had, exclaiming to young Will that those things were not “imperfections but rather the good stuff.” Young Will had no such experiences in life. He could only quote some Shakespeare or relate a story that he read in a book or poetic sonnet, but he knew nothing of love. Will never had dare to love anyone more then himself. Robin Williams talked about a series of experiences and each time he would tell young Will that he probably had a smart answer from a book he read or story he heard, but he was never a part of any of it. Will never invested his life in others and he had missed the opportunity to experience life.
I was just like Will in the movie, I was full of stories, smart answers and funny jokes, but none of it was real. I should have countless memories of people I met and sounds and smells that I cannot forget, but I don’t. It was as if I was a computer regurgitating facts to prove that I had a memory of something I saw or places I went. I was existing and surviving, but by no means alive in any real way. Only those that are alive can smell, taste, and share these things we go through in life with others. I spent the first 30 years of my life merely existing, surviving and wondering why there was so much pain. I was self sufficient, self reliant, and in short just selfish. These things are attributes and even celebrated in our upside down world, but they are contrary to the work of the Lord and block Him from providing life and life abundantly.
All of this has gone through my mind repeatedly. Today, for reason I do not know I am somehow acutely aware of my own shortcomings. I was also evaluating the technologically connected world that we live in. I thought that as some level the two could be related. In the palm of my hand I have the ability to connect with almost every member of the world. I can even write a letter to the President of the United States right now on my telephone. (Although this phone can’t make him read it!) So why are people living so disconnected to the family members that live in their own home. We are emailing and texting everyone all over the world but will not cross the street to talk to our neighbor. We talk on the phone with friends about family problems but will not knock on our own children’s door and practice what we preach. Maybe I am not the only person suffering from surviving over living. It seems as if the side effect of technology is a lack of attachment. I have seen two people in a car or walking down the street together and talking on the phone with someone else as if the person they are with is not there. It happened today; as a matter of fact: the visual pictures of people that I observed today provided the material for these thoughts.
The ability to travel and see different types of people in my own life did not lead to greater connection with others. The opportunities that I have been afforded by my circumstances and through the advances technologically brought me around more people. However that did not automatically mean that real communication occurred with those people. Much like the ability to communicate twenty four seven with anyone does not necessarily mean that you will. Maybe my circumstances are unique in my life or maybe others have some of the same problems I do. I am not here to rail against the horrors of our modern society. I am just taking this opportunity to share some of my experiences and the observance of others. It could not hurt to stop and ponder these things from time to time, don’t you think? Our modern society gives us the ability to cross the country in a matter of hours and experience many great sights and sounds. Sadly it seems all we gather from this are pictures taken on our phone and a few post cards. Why do we miss out on all of the different people we can meet along the way? Maybe there are others like me that were too consumed with there own life. It could however be that the convenience has kept us from experiencing life. I have been guilty of both. How about you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)