Delusional or Faithful?

Delusional or faithful? That is a question that has been at the forefront of my mind more times then I would like to admit over the last few years. Due to this reoccurrence I have decided to write about it. Therefore I am going to attempt to communicate what is inside my soul on a personal level. I have recently taken down a post that was an attempt to communicate emotion on my part because the writing was incoherent and a bit unorganized.  Now I am attempting to communicate thoughts that may appear to be more abstract and not so straight forward. These words are probably better told in person due the content being of the soul and not the mind. So why am I attempting this? Is it because the Lord has placed depth within my soul that I feel I must share or am I just delusional? This question has been unavoidable to me therefore this is something I must write about.

Mathew 11:2-6, 11

And when John heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Hi, “Are You the Coming One or do we look for another?” Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see. “The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear’ the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me

…Assuredly, I say to you, among those born of women there has not risen one greater than John the Baptist: but he who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

I have chosen to stay with this passage from my last post but not to speak in an expository manner. I am not going to speak in depth about the passage at all. I just want you ask yourself if what I have to say makes any sense in relation to this passage.

I must confess that I have often thought that the line between faith and insanity is so fine that the human mind cannot discern the difference. It can easily be blurred by man’s own imagination as well as man’s lack of diligence towards knowing the difference between the two or moreover the desire to study His Word to be strong in faith. However, even with some diligence I have often had the line blurred in my mind at times to the point that I cannot recognize which side of the line I am on. I have wondered if anything I write makes any difference. Am I truly discerning the Word of God and the events of the day or am I victim of believing in what I hope I am? I must confess that I look at my life financially and my relationships with others that seem to be lacking in depth and purpose, and it’s hard to see where anything I am doing is making any difference. Am I just another lost person that lives in a world that is not real because I can’t stand the one that is? Could it be that I am way off base about what the Bible truly says? Am I lost about the events of the world today and the state of the church? Could it be that this blog should not have wisdom but rather fool in the title?

All of these things have run through my mind, and more times then I would like to admit caused a lot of anxiety and pain. So are these thoughts telling me the truth or is there something else going on? Maybe living in this world for Christ causes this and this is quite normal for a believer? Maybe that is why John asked the question he did?  I think the Bible clearly illustrates that it was not a lack of faith. Maybe John was emotionally just on the wrong side of the line between faith and insanity. Why else would he ask a question he already knew the answer to and moreover why did Jesus brag about him after John’s disciple had given Jesus the message? Why didn’t Jesus chastise him for lacking faith? Maybe this lamentation by John was the same as Solomon is Ecclesiastes, Paul asking for Timothy while in jail, Thomas not believing until he saw the nails, David in Psalm 51, Jeremiah wanting not to speak up, and Elijah’s depression. Maybe all these instances in scripture were not a lack of faith but rather men evaluating their life and in the midst of the pain wondering if the kingdom will ever come in its fullness. Maybe Jesus’ cry on the cross was an example of that as well. Am I reading too much into this? Overanalyzing yet another subject? Or am I on to something here? Am I delusional or stumbling on to greatness?

The truth is that I have already answered my own question. It is not that I will not struggle with battling despondency at times and asking these questions of myself. The reality is that it doesn’t matter either way. The Lord has already chosen me and this is the road I must travel. Therefore whether I wonder about these things from time to time or even if I am truly delusional, my road will not change. There comes a time when you realize you have made your decision. Delusional or faithful? The question matters to my soul but it doesn’t to my path. If He is not the way the truth and the life then my delusion or faith doesn’t matter anyway because I have nothing I can do or say. Maybe this is what faith is?

Could it be that these men felt and struggled with these very thoughts? Maybe I’m not crazy! Even if I am it’s too late now, it’s Jesus Christ or I am doomed anyway, I guess it’s faith!

Obedience Matters

I went to my second Sunday school class at my new church in Longs SC and I have found some brothers that I might have some common ground so I am trying to get excited about that. I say trying because admittedly things have been rough the last few years. I guess I just need to choose to be excited. The second blessing was that I found some insight from the conversations of that Sunday as well as a couple of blog entries from someone else’s blog that I read earlier. I am excited to steal some of their ideas! I’m kidding but I do get excited when I find that biblical common ground with believers even if it is some that I have never met!

Anyway, we were discussing a variety of issues starting with the story of the Good Samaritan and dovetailing into a lot of different issues. Frankly I think we got off track a little bit, but I think that’s ok sometimes. During that discussion we got into how Jesus interacts with us and most notably how He teaches us. One of the guys in the class brought up that Jesus in this instance didn’t teach from the premise of ‘do as I say because I said so.’ Or more succinctly put simple obedience to simple instructions. In terms of the passage in Luke this was true that the Lord used a now popular story, but it was not so encouraging to the audience that He was teaching to. This made me think about how the Lord teaches His disciples and whether we are sometimes seeing things that are not there when we evaluate scripture. In regards to the whole Bible we can see evidence of God giving instructions based upon who He is and nothing else. There is not a lot of flowery speeches or feel good motivational ploys. I brought up Job 38 to illustrate my point which I would recommend reading all of it but I will just right down verses 1-4;

Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said, “Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge?’ Now prepare yourself like a man I will question you, and you shall answer Me.” Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?

Now we should all know the story. Job had been singled out and volunteered by God for this trial. He had lost 10 children, all that he owned, his status in the country, and to top it all off his friends were blaming him for all this and his wife was telling him to curse God and die. After all of that this is how a Holy God teaches Job! This does not make sense to us at first. Now you probably are not concerned with that old outdated Old Testament stuff. After all Jesus doesn’t work that way in the New Testament right?! Here is where I stole some inspiration from another blog but I’m sure they won’t mind! Mathew 11:2-6 says:

And when John heard in prison about the works of Christ, he sent two of his disciples and said to Hi, “Are You the Coming One or do we look for another?” Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things which you hear and see. “The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear’ the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.

After these verses the Lord told everyone He was preaching to about John’s faith but He chose not to deliver that message back to John in prison. As a side note this question from John was not rooted in unbelief, but rather depression from circumstances. John was facing death and tired at that point. So this was a cry for emotional help from the Lord and instead of responding to John in that manner the Lord just stuck to the pertinent facts.

Again, this was not exactly the motivational speech we would expect, but when I study the scripture I have found that this is the blunt answer that God usually uses. I can attest that the message to read His Word seven years ago without any reason why and any idea of where to go was His message to me. Therefore sometimes I wonder how we can place these expectations of style and motivational speeches on Jesus when frankly there isn’t a whole lot of evidence that this occurred as much as we would like in the scripture.

My point is that when Jesus was teaching and witnessing to the men especially He was not coddling them at all. The core of the instructions of Jesus was simply “Do what I say.” Essentially if they could not obey the simple instructions there was no need to go any further. (Ex, “Let the dead bury their dead you follow Me” or to Mathew it was simply “Follow Me”) There is a mountain of evidence that Jesus gave simple instructions to the unsaved world and to the courageous men that He would use.

The more the Lord illuminates truth in His Word the more I find that what I previously believed about the character of the Lord is not so. Moreover, I learn more and more about His way of teaching and doing things and find that His ways seem to be in opposition to my natural inclinations in thought and action.

In the end obedience is the true barometer of faith, not the only one, but I think it’s the only one that you cannot fake.

6 Men in Black

I was watching a few minutes of the argument about the health care law in front of the Supreme Court. I was struck by a few things, most notably that Sotomayor, Ginsberg, and Kagan or in the tank for this health care debacle. I was also struck with how we have come full circle here in America. I was thinking that right about this time 225 years ago in Philadelphia a group of men met to discuss the failing Articles of Confederation and after months of debating the constitution was hammered out after a tumultuous debate among the founders. We do not know very much about what was said by these men while they were debating the issues because what was said there needed to stay their.

We are now facing another deliberation by men to decide the fate of this nation. This time it is only 6 men however. I know there are 9 Supreme Court justices, but do you really think there is any debate about how the three ladies are going to vote on this issue! I don’t even think the coming election in November is an important as what happens some time in June in regards to this law. If the law is upheld with or without the mandate, it will not matter who is in the white house freedom is dead!

  By some polls the number of Americans receiving some government assistance is at 40% if you count welfare checks, food stamps, unemployment, Medicaid, and Medicare. I wonder what the percentage would be if you added social security benefits to the list. I know the elderly deserve what they paid in! Which they do, but it is still not money totally based on the function of the market and some will get out far more then they put in. The point is when you think of how much the government is involved in the everyday dealings of our lives can you really believe that we can still be free if Caesar can now tell you what kind of health care you can have? Are you really that naïve to believe that decisions of life and death will not be made for people based on what’s expedient and economical for the government? What are any of us going to be able to say about it if we are in the 40% that is already dependant financially for food and clothing on the government?  Ultimately whose fault is it? It’s your fault if you wanted Caesar to educate, feed, cloth and take care of you and your children don’t get upset when you find out that Caesar wasn’t the benevolent Daddy that you thought he was!

Every time I watched the news about Trayvon Martin, Mitt Romney, or Rick Santorum I wonder does anyone else see that none of this is as relevant to our future as what 6 men in black have to say about the constitutionality of Obamacare!